Wonder Woman and Sleep Training

A friend of mine sent me a text the other morning that said:

"I think you are like a young version of Lynda Carter. Wonder Woman. She is on the today show today and I thought of you."

All I could think was man, I wish I had Wonder Woman's powers these days. Then I started to wonder what were her powers? It seems as though she gave up all her powers to stay on planet earth and what she was left with was superhuman strength. And well, maybe, just maybe I have this superhuman strength these days, otherwise, I wouldn't have made it this far with a 2 year old and 5 month old twins.

So, the other night I decided to turn into Wonder Woman.
The babies started to sleep very poorly a week ago and I was at my limit. After 4 nights of no sleep...seriously, no sleep I lost it. That night I put the babies down to bed at 9:00pm. My head must have hit  my pillow 8 times by 2:00am and I had nothing but maybe 10 minutes of sleep. I was so mad. When a baby started to cry at 2am, I just let them cry...actually scream over the monitor. After an uncomfortable amount of time my husband turned over in the bed and said, "are you just going to let him cry" and I said "YES". So my husband said, then why do you have the monitor on. That's when I lost it. I said something like "So I can hear when they stop crying. If it's bothering you so much why don't you just get up and help. I've been doing this for 5 months and you never get up with them. Never never never. I jumped out of bed turned the monitor off, slammed our door. Opened the microwave put a bottle inside, slammed the microwave closed, opened it, got the bottle slammed it back closed, marched myself back into the babies room for the umpteenth time, slammed their door closed behind me, picked up the culprit and stuck a bottle in his mouth.

AHH, yes, I felt much better by slamming all the things I possibly could, secretly in hopes that I would wake my 2 year old up since she is my husbands responsibility at night then he'd be forced to get up with someone! But of course she slept and of course my dear husband walked into the babies room and said, here, let me take him. At this point I was boiling. And I said, "You've had 5 months to help - GET OUT!"

Of course I wanted his help. I had been wanting it for the past few days that led up to this. But I didn't want to have to ask for it. I wanted him to recognize I needed help. I said things like, I don't know how much longer I can do this. They've been sleeping terrible the last few night. Maybe when my dad comes to visit I can have him take turns getting up...of course, my husband never offered. What was I thinking? He could read my mind? I guess so. Don't we women just want that?

So at 3:30 when the next baby started crying and I was back in bed, I leaned over and said, "can you go get her". He said sure, but then asked a million questions, does she want a bottle, should I bring her back to bed, should I change her diaper. My response, "I don't care what you do, just get her back to sleep". Because of that I got about 2 hours of sleep that night.

In the morning, my poor husband who I beat up the night before with my angry words said, "I'm willing to help and do whatever you need me to, you know that, you just need to ask. I'm not like you and I don't just know what to do". By this time I had already decided it was time to Sleep Train.

After 4 nights of no sleep I decided the 5th night was time for sleep training, or else someone was going to really loose it. I mean really lose it. So sleep training it was. Babies went down at 9:00. The first baby who woke was around 11:30. I grabbed my night robe, as I always do because I freeze at night. When I get out of the covers I am super cold so I put on a little light weight white and pink robe with a hood and go get a baby. Well tonight my night robe turned into my superhero cape. As I put it on I envisioned myself as Wonder Woman and even put on the hoody. Well I know she doesn't ware a cape, but it amused me nonetheless. I turned the monitor off and sat on the couch. I timed 5 minutes and then went into the nursery, picked up the culprit and rocked and nursed him back to sleep. Then I went back to bed. When the next cries came over the monitor, I turned it off, put on my superhero cape and sat on the couch. I waited 10 minutes. Then went in and soothed my child back to sleep. This continued on all night with the increments on the couch getting longer and longer. I clung to my cape tighter and tighter telling myself, "don't give in. you have supernatural powers and you can do this."

By the 3rd night both babies slept from 9pm - 5am. Took a bottle and went back to sleep until 8:30.

Somehow my friend giving me a little boost that I reminded her of Wonder Woman did wonders. It got me in the mood to say "I can do this!"

Wonder Woman, ahh, how I love thee.

Help! My Two Year Old is a Teenager!

Today was Lucia's first day of school in the Two's class. I could've sworn she is a teenager and not a 2 year old today.

Lately I've been thinking my 2 year old reminds me of a teenager. I have these flashforwards with things that she does. I stare at her small face that fits her 25 lb two year old little body perfectly and as I stare into her soft brown almond shaped eyes I suddenly find myself looking into the eyes of a 15 year old little girl. I have to immediately snap myself out of it! I'm not ready for this teenage stuff yet. I take a deep breath, blink and look at her again to see my sweet young little two year old. I eagerly try to forget my flashforward and tell myeslf not to go there again...not yet anyway.

It's her first day of school and she love to oversleep. This morning was no different. I turn her noise maker off and her lights on and I softly tickle her arm and say, "wake up baby". She just barely opens her eyes. She looks at me with her eyes opened just enough to give me the stink eye! She's got one hell of a stink eye. It's enough to make anyone take offense to her. I'm sort of used to it by now. I walk out of the room and she rolls over and goes back to sleep.

I leave her room, start getting her breakfast ready and her lunch box packed. Do I dare go back in ther and risk getting the stink eye again from my two year old? Of course I do! I tickle her arm a little bit and I say, "sweetie, you need to get up and get ready for school. Do you want some milk? I have some grapes and pancakes waiting for you. Come on babe, it's time to get up and go to school." Again, I get the stink eye and she rolls over and this time puts the covers over her head.

She finally rolls herself out of bed and slowly comes into the playroom where I am with the babies. She is covered in sweat and her hair is crazy messy. Her eyes are just barely open and she is in a rotten mood. She drinks milk and asks for cookies. I offer her her breakfast on the table. "Momma I want cookies, please." I'll say no cookies honey we need to eat breakfast so you can grow big and healthy. "Momma, I want M&M's." No M&M's. "I want chocolate, please". I decide I will offer her two cookies on her breakfast plate. Of course they are peanut butter crackers, but she doesn't know the difference. To her they are cookies. She may seem like a teenager as I try to get her out of bed and ready for school, but she still thinks peanut butter crackers are cookies she can only have as treats. I'll try to keep this one for a while. 
She finally sits down to eat, but won't eat until I leave the room to get the babies dressed. When she saw me looking at her she immediately stopped eating. I got her dressed and her hair in pink tails. Her lunch box packed and her backpack ready. She kept trying to open her lunch box, probably to check and make sure I put M&M's in it, which of course I didn't.  She got a peanut butter sandwhich, some slivced avacado and string cheese. This means the whole lunch box will probably come home full.

I tried to take her picture before sending her off on her first day of school. She refused. She kept turning her head, running away and saying, "Momma, I don't want to go to school!" She was telling me she just wants to play. As I reminded her that she was going to play at school and see all her friends there she responded by saying she just wanted to play at home.   
We eventually made it to the car drove to school, all the while she reminded me that she didn't want to go. I pulled through the drop off lane and one of the lovely teacher's came to get her out of the car. My daughter stared at me with this aweful blank look...it was like the evil eye times ten! I handed the nice teacher her backpack and lunchbox. The car door shut. I smiled and waved to her as the teacher carried her into the building. The whole time she stared at me, never taking her eyes off me. I continued to smile and wave. I amsot felt her eyes telling me to "go to hell; how could I be so rude dropping her off at school like that when all she wants is to stay home and play, dammit!" I know...that's a harsh when describing my two year old. I admit it. But it was one of those flashforward moments where she's 15 and I won't let her go to the movies with her friends and instead I make her go to dinner with her family and she sits at the table with the same look on her face. It's a powerful look! I've never known a 2 year old to be able to have this kind of influence in her eyes, but I'm warning you, it's deadly and it will send you into a flashforward of teenagehood. I stared right back at her and smiled bigger and and bigger and waved faster and faster and finally sped off!

I know she'll have a great day at school and as we get back in the swing of things, she'll beg me to go to school just as she did last year when she was in the 1's class.

My little two year old teenager.

Is your two year old a teenager check list:

Won't eat anything I make for dinner - check!

Only wants junk food - check!

Does the opposite of what I say - check!

Sleeps late - check!

Wants to stay up all night - check!

Gives the stink eye - check!

Tells me to go away - check!

Tells me she doesn't want to talk to me - check! 

Argues the opposite of what I say - check!

Peeing-Butt-Better

Paul: (in reference to my Lucia going poop in her pull-up) "Peanut, are you making peanut butter?"
Lucia: "No daddy, I not making Peeing-Butt-Better"

Later there were some noises outside and Lucia asked me:

"Momma, who's at the door"
Me: "Nobody"
Lucia: "Yes buddy."
Me: (not really understanding what she said), "No baby, nobody is at the door, it's just a noise outside"
Lucia: "Yes momma, yes-buddy's at the door."