Friday, July 15, 2011

Panties On The Head, Panties On The Head, Looking Like a Fool With Panties On Your Head

There was a knock on the door.  I was comfortably sitting on the couch laughing with my two year old while I fed one baby a bottle and nursed the other. But I quickly layed one baby on the couch and rushed to the door to get the dog. When someone knocks on our front door, our 90 lb Rhodesian Ridgeback charges to the glass panes barking and growling so obnoxiously you think he is going to jump right through the glass and bite you right in the throat taking your life from you forever. So, in an effort to keep the dog somewhat quiet so he didn't startle the babies too badly, ok, and so he didn't freak out the person at the door, I rushed towards the door to get him. Holding a baby in one arm I dragged the dog by the callar to the bathroom and shut the door. Fearing I left the person at the door too long, I quickly checked to make sure I had pinned my bra back on and that I was wearing a shirt. All seemed good so I rushed back to the door to open it.

There stood a man with a letter in his hand. He was...THE Turf Doctor. He said he just wanted me to know that they turfed the yard and give me their latest newsletter. I was sort of thinking to myself, "why do I want your newsletter?" "Why are you telling me you turfed the yard?","You turf the yard every month and you've never knocked on the door before." "You just put that sign in the yard letting us know." "If you have a newsletter you usually leave it rubberbanned to the doorknob." "And duh, don't you think I can see the seed all over the sidewalk?" "I know when you are here." "I don't care about your newsletter." It was as if he knocked on the door becuase he knew I was juggling two newborn babies with a bottle and a boob while entertaining a 2 year old and wanted to watch me jump up out of my comfortable couch and grab my loud abnoxious dog all the while not dropping a baby or exposing a boob. The other guy with him probably saw me through the window and dared him to do it.

But nevertheless, I thanked him, gave him my "thank you so much, I don't really give a crap" smile and as i was about to close the door I made eye contact with him. He didn't appear to be looking at me before that, but more like he was looking through me. As my eyes met his, one half of his lip on the right side went up as if he was smirking at me. His eye brows raised just a tad as if he was trying to control them to stay down, but couldn't help it. I almost thought he was going to start laughing at me. But honestly I really wasn't sure because quite frankly it's been days since I've slept. I'm overtired and I don't really pay attention to people anymore these days like I used to so I feel out of practice in reading peoples expressions. He could've been about ready to cry for all I really knew. But I knew something was going on and I really couldn't place it and in a matter of milliseconds I realized I didn't really care and I closed the door. I watched him through the glass panes turn towards his truck where the other "Turf Doctor's" were and he seemed to be shaking his head.

I was holding a baby in the crescent of my arm. My other baby was asleep on the couch. The dog was in the bathroom. Then it hit me. Where is my 2 year old? My 2 year old was standing right next to me holding my leg the whole time. My 2 year old was wearing only a pair of panties. The panties, however, were on her head.

What was that turf doctor thinking? Standing there while my butt naked two year old stood next to me with her panties on her head?

My 2 year old is potty training and she is doing excellent! She had just peed in the potty but did not want to put her panties back on. I didn't really push the issue, as I was a little busy putting babies into a booby milk induced coma.

I just about died laughing later when I saw her running around the house with her bare bottom and her panties on her head. Of course, she found it hilarious too as she twirled in cirlces saying, "dizzy, dizzy, dizzy." She kept pulling the panties over her eyes so she couldn't see where she was going, she fall down and just cracked up laughing.

I just didn't expect to forget about it and then have someone come to the door, open the door, and have my two year olds bare bottom hanging out and her panties on her head.

Looking like a fool with your panties on your head.

1 comment:

  1. I definitely laughed out loud on this one. Hey, I went outside to tell two of my husbands friends something when DS was 2 weeks old and realized upon re-entering the house that my boob was still out from breastfeeding. Thank GOD the burp cloth was covering it still! CLOSE CALL!

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